I have been falling asleep listening to 1000+ year old Tibetan Dzogchen texts recently, and last night with Vairotsana. These texts are full of the deepest wisdom and the nun who reads them does so in a most contemplative rest inducing way. I let them run on all night as I sleep often and it is has a very beneficial effect on my nervous system and bringing some dreams too.
In this dream I was with with a group of Tibetans who were reciting some old texts and then discussing them after.
One topic was about keeping evil away, destructive spirits and toxic people. I questioned the senior monk about it on his way out. He said the more refined energies you start to embody the more attractive you become to them. And they want to steal your energy and they want to sabotage.
I’m not sure about the wisdom of cultivating ‘self concern’ or about demons and spirits, never met one, and it doesn’t sit well to even call people toxic. I have certainly felt that effect from certain people though and have been a bit toxic a few times myself 😂 . I’m not separate from others, they are part of the play I am creating out there and we are all one. The angry Angus, the complaining Connie, the competitive Cathy. All me. There is no others out there.
There may be some truth to the sabotage though, even if it is unconscious. I’ve noticed myself being almost allergic to happy, loving, spiritual energies when I’m stuck in my own anger, complaint and insecurity.
Spending most of the time alone recently, I have observed that my life has been more peaceful not being around a few people I normally connect with regularly. I have been able to stabilise in a deeper and more contemplative mindful state.
I have read that it is very important to surround yourself with positive loving people. However I think that as I gain confidence in my inner peace, I imagine the ability to maintain that inner peace and stability whatever the environment presents. I have periods of this already. Adversity can offer leverage for greater commitment to abiding in peace, love, compassion and for developing equanimity, to let go of personal preferences. To see it all as us, there’s no separation. And to recognise there isn’t even a self to be protected, damaged or perturbed anyway.
There is a time for everything though, and perhaps some stages require going within alone, and if that’s what is needed to feel safe, that’s okay. We guard from certain poisonous germs while going through surgery. Just a little less time around some energies during certain periods is appropriate.
Later on in real life – my mum calls. She is raging at me, and spitting hateful poison, just like a demon. Talk about toxic! I had missed a text and hadn’t called her back about my uncle being unwell. Wow, how life provides opportunities. I stayed calm, and pretty detached, like watching some over dramatic gesticulating actor in a play. How interesting. The irony.
And now in bed. Back on the Vairosatna.
That is the mum and dad some many years ago. The white statue peeping in on the left we still have, is Guanyin, the Chinese Bodhisattva of Compassion. I am pretty sure my grandmother had no idea about that but she loved it. I wonder about the early subliminal effect.
Learning to Rest with it All 