And Happy Again


Noticing a pattern here.

You look right at the disowned feelings, allow them to be felt, let disturbance in and make space for it, stay grounded, be kind.

Then release and joy arises automatically.

I had a glorious day. Enjoyable errands till 2.30 then out to the fields, river and woods. Friendly chat with a random stranger. Stopping often and just noticing and being there still and fully, the smell, the feel of the wind, the sunshine.

Making silly funny shadows against a tree in the distance. Light heartedness. Sung a long song to Elsa out loud. Back to the outdoor tearoom for soup and cake at the house. After I offered a couple of strangers a lift home in the rain and had lovely time with them. We exchanged details to contact for a night bird listening walking group.

When free like this, life is a lot different. So interesting to observe how I behave in this state.

1 – the spontaneity that happens without fear present. Serendipity appears more.

2 – the natural extension and trust in life, in strangers, in people, including myself

3 – gratitude very apparent – just walking along suffused with it without thinking about it…just finding myself feeling a big inner thanks for everything I’m experiencing

4 – not many thoughts at all and those that come are mostly very noticeable as there’s a resting in the base state of stillness

5 – playfulness comes automatically. Today there has been singing, a dance, some fun creating shadows, bouncing up and down on a branch, playing chase games with the dog and laughing

6 – very little thinking of the future. A feeling of being present

7 – happy to be on my own, a sense that nothing is lacking

8 – practically no awareness or thoughts of self as something other than what surrounds me. Not even self compassion, seems no need in this place as it naturally exists or arises.

And now I’m cosy on the sofa listening to some stoner rock, the dog is curled up, happy and tired. All good. This is the stage I used to get anxious at, when all is well and balanced…..not at the moment though. What an adventure.

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