After opening the gates of disowned feelings and emotions and letting them arise yesterday, the pain did subside. It was very intense for a while, and the movement physically helped. Taking note of that, for myself in the future and for my clients.
Letting the body dance worked, well perhaps improvised movement is more precise. Then a walk in the woods with the dog, a chat with a friendly stranger, soup and cake outside at the Edwardian kitchen. All helped to re-ground and orientate.
Overnight last night I listened to an audio of Longchenpa being read, and slept for over 8 hours.
Slowly awakening this morning, I was very conscious of the first thoughts arriving of the new day as I lay there surfacing in bed in the dark. I had been in a state of stillness inside, so the thoughts as they arrived were quite easily apparent.
Thoughts of this and that about the day ahead. As each thought arose I acknowledged it and returned to the silence of awareness and stillness. Another thought arose and again I returned to open awareness, and over and over. I did this as I got up for the loo, as I put the slippers and dressing gown on. More little random thoughts arose, and I returned to just what I was doing, in inner silence and alert awareness.
What this did was allow me to be in what is happening and not my mental world thinking about the day ahead. And I notice that it’s a calm state. Any thoughts that try and alert me to potential problems or threats noticed and dropped. So they didn’t get to become a little connected up trail of several thoughts building a story. Which then so often makes the body react with physically felt fear about something that isn’t happening right now.
So a thought comes. Drop. Open awareness. The present. Where there are no problems. Peace. And a note to self that there are no shortcuts to this place. Nothing can be excluded. The disowned feeling must be allowed to surface and be allowed back into the fold.
Never before have we had such easy access to these transmissions of wisdom from so many sources. And we have had the personal and worldwide adversity as leverage to give us the courage to go deeper, and seek refuge in something reliable and unchanging, the deepest still part of ourselves. We are living in auspicious times.