Lost at Sea

Yes that’s a perfect description for my felt experience at the moment. After weeks of family visits and dinners I’m here spending time reorienting. I’ve bent and contorted to fit with multiple different realities of family and friends over the holidays.

It’s hibernation weather out there, dark and rainy. I’m noticing I’m barely able to take anything in much very deeply, there’s a sense of overload and I need to rediscover the space inside. Here’s my recovery list:

  • Time on my own, just being, noticing, playing and chatting with the dog.
  • Minimising incoming stimulation. So less consumption of ‘information‘. Not having much or initiating contact with others. And I need to go further than I am with that this week.
  • Outdoors time in the woods just being, exploring, using my body as it was intended, all the senses active.
  • Reading more of the deepest works such as Longchenpa that cut to the core.
  • Noticing all the thoughts that are quite prevalent just now, especially the ones that are foreboding and trying to get me to feel afraid of what lies ahead. Using them as the opportunity they are to more firmly root my being in open compassionate awareness.
  • Allowing compassion towards myself as well as everyone else. Realising that it has been tough. That I’m in new territory that I’m unfamiliar with too.
  • Being grateful for all this abundance around me, how supported I am and how I feel on every level. Including being more able to support myself as I travel through all this.
  • Dropping habits. I gave up taking honey or sugar in my tea 10 days ago, and it was easy. I know, no big deal but it illustrated how easy it is just to decide to drop things. Despite a lot of pressure to drink over the holiday, I couldn’t, didn’t want to, felt repulsed by the idea of it.
  • Eating simply. Melon. Grapes. A chunk of cheese. Salads in toasted pitta bread. Mostly raw or unprocessed food, my body wants to clear out I think and I’m going with it’s guidance.
  • Remembering to breathe from low down. Remembering my heart. Just the thought of the heart is enough to bring it back online.

I don’t know what lies ahead for me or for us collectively this year but happy new year. I hope we use the opportunities that arise to get to our most authentic selves free of old conditioning and beliefs allowing more love to arise as a result.

May we be well

May we be safe

May we be happy

May we be at ease

An amaryllis update, my greed paid off 🙂


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