Sitting on my little spot here on the planet and everything is changing by the second, hourly, daily. It gets more and more unfamiliar and I have to cease relying on just about all habitual reference points.
Inside my only way of orientation is being in the present moment as it’s happening. Noticing and dropping any arising thoughts and just trusting. That’s it.
Also nature is a huge friend, the passing light quality, the sounds, the formations and textures and creatures. And coming here to write of course! Staying grounded in life’s little tasks.
Friends and family, well they have no idea what I’m choosing to experience here. I have no way of explaining and no wish to. None have committed to coming along on this path and few even know that it exists. Except we are all on it whether we know it or not. I’m glad I have such great friends and family, and also grateful that I do not live with anyone other than my dog, so fortuitous circumstances for this work. Though, fortuitous or unfortuitous, I can’t tell which is which! Everything is up for change and giving up and giving away.
I’m really out at sea at the moment here in a little bobbing boat. What a remarkable ‘place’ to find oneself in, absolutely nowhere. The boat is going to the far shore where I know there are others waiting. Inside I’m a soldier.
Noticing the disorientation, the now half hearted urges to grab onto something familiar….not putting in a lot of effort there. Even the food I can eat. I love the idea of good old familiar toast and butter but what I found myself eating for breakfast was pickled onions and dates!
I also notice that the world is also shifting one way or another for nearly everyone…I am curious about what’s going on. Is this us all being funnelled into waking up I wonder.
We seem to be moving as a larger body more and more too with new laws and movement restrictions arising in response to Covid. Covid which actually has a very high survival rate for the vast majority. It doesn’t make sense to me. I’ve held off on being vaccinated because of that. I keep extracting my attention from focusing on the outside shifting picture too much. I mean the geopolitical one. I don’t know what to make of it. Do I care about our rights being taken away? Should I care? Is that even the case? Somehow it’s not much of concern right now.
What is in front of me is that have a lot of people coming for help with an inner crisis. The last couple of years along with the ongoing changing picture is pushing many people beyond their normal coping mechanisms. Now they have to find new ones and reframe things.
I seem to know what to say mostly, it comes out with certainty and confidence that surprises me a little actually. I’m helping them to stop rejecting themselves and to do the opposite. Keeping it simple. Lot of listening and reflecting back. And self compassion and mindfulness. That’s it basically.
So today is a free day. No main obligations other than the wages to pay and a long walk in nature. Ah yes and meeting a couple of fellow therapy friends tonight for the evening on zoom. That’s usually nice and meaty.