“I feel fear……
I feel fear…….
I feel fear…..
hello there fear I acknowledge you’.
I say it out loud sometimes and in a slightly silly voice, almost singing it. Not exactly in a celebratory sense, but just for fun. It takes the edge off, adding a bit of self amusement for behaving a little strangely.
The effect of directly acknowledging what we are feeling is remarkable. A relaxing of the tension of trying not to feel it for starters.
Being honest becomes normalised, and fear is deflated by being acknowledged fully. It removes a large amount of its power when the resistance is let go of. It becomes just something that’s ordinary, like “I’ve got a sore foot”. It’s still there but not such a big deal.
Maximum pain is trying to squirm away from acknowledging that which is being experienced. To try and deny, squash, suppress, replace it or wish the fear or other feeling away.
That is so habitual in our culture that it seems natural to deny what we don’t want to be feeling. Or to try and ameliorate the feelings with unhealthy coping strategies like eating or drinking. It’s just fear. It’s normal. It’s human. And it’s not our fault.
We have that inbuilt threat detection system in the old part of our brain, and it sees danger everywhere. Especially these days. It’s been a pretty scary couple of years and we have been pounded by messages to be afraid. It’s a tremendous opportunity being presented to us to find and use new healthy ways of relating to ourselves.
To just turn towards it and say it as it is, well it becomes less scary and is seen as what it is. Like pulling the curtain back on the wizard in the Emerald City.
I’m using the word fear to cover all the versions of fear, like, pensiveness, anxiety, disquiet and worry. Pretty much if we are not feeling light and happy and free, we are experiencing some level of fear. Love or fear it comes down to.
And while acknowledging that we are experiencing fear we can at the same time send a little love and compassion our way. The way we would towards a beloved pet or a dear friend who is suffering. Bit of a magic ingredient this.
Hand on the heart for extra effect and I say
May we be safe
May we be well
May we be at ease
May we be happy
Learning to Rest with it All 