Want to share this further reply with you as it’s another one full of beautiful wisdom for getting through the hard times.
“Strangely enough it is when the situation gets ‘real’ that you find your strength or the footing that you never know you have until you need it. When hardships are conceptual, they can be more frightening because the imagination knows no bounds. But when they are real and actual and right there in your living room, you are no longer in the world of conceptuality and instead smack dab right in the middle of a bad spot. No denying it. No getting around it.
Then that is just your new Reality and the first thing you notice is that it is not nearly as bad as the dread of it happening. Nothing is worse than the dread of something. Once the thing happened, its done. And we adjust. Then this is our new Reality. But if you’re lucky, this will also be an opportunity to recognize what has NOT changed!
And there is the true prize. There is the only thing that has ever mattered. and now you are aware of something valuable that you would have never been aware of if it had not been for this opportunity.
talk soon. love, m”
And what doesn’t change? The deep inner, the real ‘me’ that knows I am the ocean and not the waves. That knows we are the sky unchanged by passing thunderous clouds and lightning and all kinds of weather.
I’ve been afraid to commit further to this surrendering process as I intuited it would bring on these big tests of letting go to that and I was so scared of the pain. Now that I’m in it, well, yes as he says it’s far easier than in my imagination. I’m here, accepting the stormy weather. I surrender to reality.
Was laughing at myself earlier. Went for a walk in the park, a bit of woods nobody ever goes to and I spontaneously knelt down as a demonstration of surrender, leaned over and kissed the ground. Much to my shock and his, a park worker was sitting close by hiding from his boss having a break! I just said hello and walked on chuckling to myself. Surrendered my pride too there a bit.