Feeling of Infinity

The sense of it pervading and enveloping everything including me arrives each day these days. I have responses to it, sometimes awe, often anxiety, disorientation, and increasingly joy, playfulness. I trust everything that comes out of my mouth nearly all the time now, and it’s always a surprise how right it can be.

How I breath makes a difference in how the intensity of the all enveloping infinity of oneness feels. If I tense up and forget deep steady from the belly breathing and either hold my breath or shallow breath from the throat, the anxiety rises.

I’m so very aware of this choice between fear and love these days. Every second that passes, it’s up to me to choose whether I contract and tighten or open and allow. Every single experience is about this.

I have to reassure myself here in this body at times, like a lot of times.

  • I stand up and move. Clean something, tidy something or just dance if I’m feeling light and free
  • Grounding by using my senses. What do I feel, hear, taste smell and see
  • I listen to familiar music, tunes I’ve known so long that I have a body memory of them and can sing along with too, that’s fun (‘heart 70s radio’!)
  • I start the day with a tune out loud before I get up every day, that sets a good tone for the day
  • Eating something can sometimes help, though it reduces the intensity. That’s not really the goal here, it’s more to learn to ride intensity without closing

We experienced this as children. Arriving here and orienting through the environment we found ourselves in. We used that feedback from the environment to tell us what to expect from life, how to feel about it, about ourselves in this life. That’s the conditioning, some useful, some not.

At some point the not useful conditioning has to be identified and dumped and replaced by a better more authentic version of what is true.

All beliefs other than that have to be rooted out identified and we reprogram and reorientate to what is true.

What is true is that we are lovable, loving and deserving of love, we are ❤️

1 Comment

  1. always love reading through your posts..they usually calm me and remind me to keep my anxiety in check..your lists are spot on for me..i needed even the belly breathing reminder tonight…thank you:)

    Liked by 1 person

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