Gratitude

Tempering the mind’s tendency to look for problems here at the moment. Regular gratitude check-ins help to ground me in the reality of what is actually happening here right now.

This mind easily slips into problem seeking mode especially with the threat alert system activated by global uncertainty. The mind sends the message ‘ danger, danger, something is wrong, something is wrong!’. Yet here I sit, safe and well and warm.

While I’m not in immediate danger right this second, (and every time I check my ‘here and now’, I’m not in danger and am safe) a glance at the news is a reminder that a worldwide pandemic is going on. I notice the stress level goes up after a bout of catching up about Covid developments. And while we have a very low infection rate here at the moment, that could change. So I’m having to think more about regulating myself and keeping balanced emotionally and mentally at the moment. Or succumb to increased anxiety.

Also some needs are not being met as regularly as I’d like. I have spent nearly a whole week in isolation, not talking to a soul for days sometimes. And I love to chat and listen and interact. I start to feel swimmy and disoriented. Withdrawn from the world. I’m living almost like a Buddhist nun, without the haircut. I have to be careful which thoughts I choose to develop and believe and practise letting go of them. Without others around to break the spell that thoughts can put on me, I can get lost for longer.

So without trusted input from regular contact with others, I need to be my own reference point and develop a better internal locus of evaluation and orientation. Many aspects of life just now are just great! And nurturing, joyful and calming. And I like to remind myself of them. To be with what is in peace and contentment.

• This dog is delightful company. She is fun, loving, beautiful to look at, and no trouble at all. She forces me to go for walks in all weather, and gives me an outlet for love and affection. Thank you 🙏 beautiful girl
• I have a large apartment to myself which is warm and comfy and full of plants. It is bright and cheerful and shelters me.
• I live across the road from over 300 acres of woodland, with a river, ponds, historical gardens and Georgian mansion. Beauty and freedom on my doorstep.
• I have relative quiet here. Some neighbour noise, but 90% near silence. The last flat, though it was in an expensive area, had magpies cackling constantly, and the suburban noises of hedge cutters, leaf blowers, lawnmowers etc. That was a misophonic’s torment. None of that here. So thank you flat. Thank you neighbours for being pretty quiet.
• I have a comfy car that takes me places and keeps me safe driving. It allows me to see clients, family and friends, visit other woodlands, get food in.
• I have a business that is stable, even as the economy buckles just now. I’m fortunate that clients keep coming. Grateful for the cad technicians who draw up the designs so beautifully, for the men who carry the work out even in rain, wind, hail and snow.
• Grateful not to have less debt than this time last year. Glad that downsizing my business has worked and resulted in a stable income and less stress.
• I’m glad to be designing. I love how 4 hours can disappear in a flow state of intense creativity.
• I appreciate my ability to manage multiple tasks on different levels.
• I’m delighted that my son is doing well inside and outside and getting financial recognition for his writing talents.
• Thankful to have nearly qualified as a psychotherapist. It’s been a bit of a dream of mine – to have the qualifications that give others the confidence that I can help them, and the honour of having the opportunity of doing that.
• Thankful that I have fewer bad habits than this time a year ago. Next to no drinking, stopped nail biting, lost weight, and lowered my nicotine vaping intake to next to nothing. And also no caffeine as of a few weeks ago. None of these have made me happier exactly, but overcoming bad habits gives a sense of achievement and doing what I know is healthy comes with a warm feeling of being a good friend to myself.
• I am surrounded by top quality technology which gives me instant access to the world, to music, the communication, to opportunities to explore and learn.
• And last but not least for now, I love my cups of tea, which give me comfort, familiarity, a sense of security and stability.