I’ve been experiencing stability, relative calmness and waves of happiness recently. Life is going well and I’m experiencing a moment of grace which I’m allowing in more fully than ever. Hard work, gratitude and kindness towards myself and others are paying off.
- Anxiety provoking class presentation is over and I managed to get through it fine. It wasn’t brilliant but it was a pass. Thinking I’ll get better as I become more used to it.
- I got an ‘A’ for a recent assignment I thought I’d barely scrape through with a ‘C’. And a note suggesting I ‘share my knowledge with my peers’. Wow.
- my therapy clients are getting happier
- my supervisor is giving me positive feedback about what I’m doing-I was having lots of doubts that what I was doing was within the course guidelines, even though I see my clients get better. I do want to pass this course and become fully qualified.
- I have money in the business and work through winter for the guys
- Came off HRT after 8 years and I’m getting zero menopause symptoms – looks like I’m through the other side of it woohoo!
- My son is happy in a new place with friends after a low period.
It couldn’t be better!
It’s so interesting to me, being in this state and watching my responses.
I’ve been way more used to lunging from crisis to crisis, and feeling high anxiety. I observe my mind trying to find a problem to worry about.
That threat detection system takes a little effort to soothe when it’s been so active for so long for an early age!
It doesn’t believe I’m safe even though I am. Even during a smooth bit like this when no direct threats
This is what I’m doing to welcome joy, safety and happiness when it visits.
- I say consciously to myself ‘I am safe, I am well, I am happy’
- I breathe from my tummy consciously – this is very calming and very different from the shallow upper chest breathing and holding of the breath that anxiety causes
- Twice a day I take a short walk in nature-woodlands, watching the seasons, the river, birds flying….these all help me to forget my ‘separate’ sense of self and part of the bigger beautiful life that is with us
- I listen to beautiful music that moves me, sometimes enough to move my body and dance or sing a little
- I share. I love reminding myself and others of the abundance that we have and that sharing with others is sharing with ourselves. If you’re happy I’m happier.
- I gave a van instead of selling it to a struggling ex employee this week. I surprised myself making that decision but it felt right and both of us were happy and reassured that life supports us. I’m grateful to be in a position that I don’t need the money and could do this.
- More Gratitude. I’m so deeply grateful to my depressed and anxious clients who share their deepest experiences, hurts, fears and hopes with me. And it is very fulfilling to watch them blossom and get happier. I’m showing them what I’ve learned and sharing the tools I use that work. It’s quite beautiful and an honour to be in that position.
So here we are in a happier place and as the wheel turns and arrives here on its cycle I am allowing it in to stay for a while and trusting it more. Thank you!