There are many small actions I take nearly every week that are nurturing and give me stability amid the flux and even quite a lot of joy at times. These behaviours provide a sense of support through life’s difficult times. I live alone so many of these are solo activities, though connection is very important to me too so I have sought that out with the right people for me. This is quite a long list as I need to work at this each day.
- As I have learned to be kinder with myself and love myself more I have found myself even more alone as many old associations stopped working for me, as they didn’t feel nurturing. I do love deep meaningful conversations so I went on Meet Up and found a group called Authentic Connections and have been going for a year. It’s mana for the soul and deeply nurturing.
- I make my bed nicely most days so that it is lovely to get into at night and looks lovely through the day. I didn’t used to bother when I didn’t care for myself. I clean the bedclothes more regularly too and loves getting into freshly laundered bedding.
- When I’m shopping I ask the question, is this good for me, before putting an item in the basket. Sometimes I look at the ingredients and the calories to check.
- I go for short regular walks outdoors in nature
- I sometimes practise mindful walking outside, and I take short moments many times a day to breathe and interrupt the inner thought stress, and ground myself in the present.
- I ask for help when I need support. There have been counsellors and life coaches. I’m about to talk to one in half an hour actually to help me through this transition I’m in. Also I want to become a counselling coach practising CBT part time at first and part of the reason for getting a coach is to learn how it is done, and how it’s not done well.
- I have minimised my alcohol intake to occasional rather than regular use.
- I write a gratitude list regularly
- I’m taking a course to gain a new qualification, learning keeps me feeling vibrant and optimistic that life is moving forward and that I’m far from stagnating.
- I avoid over reading the news and getting caught up in politics. I notice a decided drop in my joy level when I do this.
- I avoid negative people too, those that complain a lot or judge or criticise.
- I brush my teeth every day! And look after my appearance and try to look my best. Though clothes have comfort as a priority
- I phone and talk to people and ask how they are and listen to them. It makes me feel good to be supportive and to show love. That’s friends, or the guy at the checkout in the supermarket, or the gardener in the park.
- I talk to strangers in the park too and have many short pleasant interactions mo1st days, mostly dog based.
- I watch my self talk and encourage myself, remembering what I’ve achieved
- I got a dog which has upped my joy and play level by a long way. I advertised for fellow dog walkers on a community page and making new light hearted friends who enjoy walking and a bit of company too
- I engage in community groups on Facebook, it gives me a sense of belonging and I do what I can to be useful and encouraging on those groups. I also started several groups on Facebook. One is an appreciation of nature, another personal growth, and a few others. All connection experiences albeit online
- I’m doing a course that will qualify me to empower people and give me more connection personally with others.
Just a few and there’s many more tiny actions. It doesn’t matter how small they are, they all create an overall nurturing environment. And if it’s a slow process, it’s because it just has to be. The rest of me needs time to get on board with it, so that it’s integrated fully. I don’t want one part of me moving forward while the other part, some unconscious belief, has the breaks on. So small slow steps allows those beliefs to arise and be embraced and reassured.
Learning to Rest with it All 