The new course

Finished the first 3 full days of the training in psychodynamic counselling. It was very intense in all sorts of ways. Despite the misgivings of my brain about all – I felt happy. I’m going to go with my feelings here. I was noticeably happier than I have felt at the weekend for a long time.

I am getting to see myself in a totally unfamiliar situation. In a group of 14 and having to talk to a group. Revealing depth to strangers in the therapy practice sessions. Learning new psychology material. Being challenged intellectually. All pretty thrilling. Starting to imagine my future practise and where that might be and how it might feel. Also it was a Syrian having to focus and concentrate for hours. I’m used to allowing my attention to flit about here at home.

Moving house

I am 1/5th moved. The new flat is ready for my stuff and I need to decide how to do this. Do I move in a one go, or do I gradually take things over. I’m on my own this time, no helpers so it’s quite an onerous task. I do have a guy to do the furniture lifting, but all the packing is my job.

I’m using it as an opportunity to throw out and give away a lot of stuff. Less clutter in the new place. So that is my aim this week, a massive shedding of stuff I don’t need or use. I feel lighter already just thinking about it.

I need to decide how to set up an efficient work space in the new room. The way I have it at the moment my personal and work life are all mixed in my living room. It hasn’t felt very organised.

The business

That I feel some stress about. I have a lot to do this week. I need to break it down into smaller tasks. I also want to downsize for winter. At the moment I have 10 staff, and I have just sacked one guy. One other is going back to college. And there are 2 more I want to let go of. Not sure quite how at the moment. It’s one of the hardest parts of being a boss. A boss like me anyway, I care about the guys. I’m not feeling much motivation for garden design these days, I haven’t for over a year. It’s been hard that.

Endless problems coming my way and it wears me down. That’s the job though, creative problem solving. Taking responsibility.

I’m experiencing overwhelm. Time for a to do list. Could do with some drug to get me going, like amphetamine.

Thanks to mindfulness my mind isn’t getting to run away into a big story with every fearful thought that comes into my head. They come hard and fast, and then fizzle out due to lack of attention.

I’m pleased with my new kitchen. Knocked a wall down to make a bigger room.

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