Over the last 5 years my relationship with myself has improved enormously. I am learning to become a good friend with myself, and I now love and respect myself much more. I welcome improvement and success in my life.
I have been surprised by how unsafe this all feels at times, even though I am clearly moving in a positive direction.
It has not been an easy process moving into unfamiliar territory. I often don’t feel safe even though I’m kinder and more respectful towards myself than ever. The fear of the unknown is strong and present at times. I thank it when I see it arise and let it go. Other times it’s voice sneaks in before I notice and has me flooded with anxiety. I am learning to comfort myself in this anxiety, before I act on it. I sometimes act on it and make decisions that are not in my best interests when this happens. I forgive myself for this quickly and move on.
As I have learned to care about myself, I have started paying more attention to my feelings, to allow them. I am noticing when I experience anxiety and it is quite often. Every day I feel some amount of anxiety. I am patient with myself about it, kind and gentle.
I see that small steps are what I can allow. So every day I work at welcoming success and wellbeing. I reassure myself that it is okay, that I am not in danger. It is a difficult process coming out of my familiar prison and starting to allow more wellbeing, happiness and success in. I have to accept the limits that I currently experience, and perhaps there are some aspects that I won’t ever feel safe about.
I am feeling as a result much more compassion towards others who are trapped in their self limiting beliefs, or who are taking themselves into new territory, improving their lives, taking the risk into the unknown. I feel a sense of peace with this.