Gratitude

Today I feel grateful for

The sun shining
The cool breeze blowing
My son is coming home soon
My good health
My family and friends
That I enjoy solitude more nowadays
The beauty of nature
This lovely fruit tea in front of me
The gorgeous view out the window
My new flat and the fact I don’t have to move out of the current one soon
It’s summer and the leaves and flowers are out
There’s demand for our services and plenty of work coming in
The way I have learned to cope with stress and anxiety, oh and responsibility
That I have had the courage to let go of some people
For those I have let go of – Mark, Dave, Pauline, Jamie, Komyo, Cobus, Ketron, thanks for all you gave to me and received from me, I love you x
For absent friends who have died, Tamba, Gonzo, Fiona, Kalinka, or moved away, Tobie, Malin, Zeta, I love you x
For the gifts my parents gave to me of having sound values, love of music, of art and beauty, for Gaga, caring about the world, sharing and not being greedy, encouragement to do what I want, an upbringing in a fabulous beautiful safe environment, for being middle class and the opportunities that has given me.
Thank you Gaga, my grandmother, for being a highly positive antidote to the harm I experienced as a child, for apologising for my mums behaviour which helped me realise it wasn’t my fault, for your belief in me, your love of nature and architecture, showing me around Scotland, for the sense of safety around you, for showing me you can be wealthy and a decent person!
Thank you to this comfy sofa
For the success I’m experiencing

I want to write some more about that and the gratitude around this specifically now

I do feel anxiety and an aloneness in this success, and pointing out the positive aspects to it to myself helps me accommodate it and integrate the feelings that come up about it.

What is this success bringing me?

The ability to go abroad whenever I like
I can pay my bills, eat whatever I like, pay my rent and mortgage
I can afford the latest technology in computers etc
I can run a car, put fuel in, pay the insurance and mot
I employ 10 full time people at the moment and 2 part time
As a company we have a good reputation and a place of respect in society
I have freedom to spend my time as I like
I am able to buy a property and do it up
I eat any food I want and eat out when I want
It is stretching me out of my comfort zone and making me grow and develop into new areas
I can help those financially who are on the ground making a difference to the disadvantaged in poor countries
I don’t have to worry about not having enough
I am learning to save, to be responsible with money, to use it to love and look after myself