It is lovely when the sun shines physically and metaphorically in life, both of which are happening right now in my world. I am having a moment of grace here. As strange as it sounds, while I welcome this moment of poise in what otherwise often feels like a storm, there is an accompanying slight disquiet. I am not used to this harmony, it is new territory. It is what I have been wishing for though, a main goal, to feel more at peace within myself and with the world. So here I am enjoying just that, even though I don’t often trust happiness when it arrives.
Everything (almost) is going well. So much to be grateful for:
- My son is happy, in good health and doing well in life
- The projects are going fine
- The clients are happy, and they are putting money in the bank account
- I can pay the suppliers what I owe
- I have bought my first ever property
- I have money to improve it (new kitchen going in next week)
- We have had an unprecedented 6 weeks of continual fine sunny weather
- I have harmony in almost all my relations with others
- I have a better than ever relationship with myself
- My health is good and I am eating very healthy food and looking after myself
- I have been asserting myself more recently
- The perfectionist self criticism has reduced to almost zero, and has been replaced with a willingness to feel compassion when I suffer
So thats all I wanted to share. If you want to do well in life in all respects just start being kinder towards yourself, we can be our own best friend. My business is making way more money as a result of this action. I have no abusive people in my life. I am much more at peace with the world as a result.
The underlying anxiety is still present too, I am not sure that will ever fully leave, though I am open to that possibility. I live with it, I have learned how to soothe myself in numerous ways throughout each day and sometimes even give myself a gentle hug.