I’m an ENFP and though we have many positive qualities we can be easily discouraged if too many negative experiences happen. We have high stress resilience and I see that we have excellent bounce back normally.
But a bit of an Achilles heel is that we do like, even need encouragement and right now I’m not getting much. I’m also aware as I write this that I am engaged in framing life in a way that could easily be framed in another way, which is why I’m writing here. I need to get this more negative framing out and then see how I can reframe it all to provide a more encouraging view which will energise me.
But there is no denying I’m having one of those low spells at the moment, it’s been on and off for a year. I e spoken about the adversity of the last year here before. I’m not getting a chance to fully revive my confidence and enthusiasm. So much is going wrong at work and I am feeling the wind is no longer in my sails. These sails used to be full with the wind behind me and transporting my little ship towards a better future. Now with all that has happened in the last year, every setback seems magnified, and I feel as though I am sinking at times.
Every day it seems to be another problem, guys not turning up, machines breaking down, clients complaining about something, 2 major staff members off for different reasons. It’s been a long time I have been running this business, and I always had some serious amounts of resilience and bounced back after each problem situation.
Now it’s all just gathering like a huge glutinous lake I am trying to swim through. I feel stressed a lot of the time, except when I’m in good company of friends or in the woods. Sitting here in my own in my flat…well I don’t even feel motivated to do the designs I need to get on with.
I seem to have lost contact with that light heart singing happy feeling and I want to refind it. That’s my wish life but it’s not what is happening right this moment. So I will just face this as it is at the moment and acknowledge that it’s temporary too without resisting it. I have been through an experience of being disappointed by the staff and shamed by clients for doing below standard work, and I’m in retreat, protecting myself. I have a ton of expensive reparations to do. That’s the way it is right now. So to go through this quietly without my usual broadcasting to the world how difficult like is for me. When last night I was watching a program about parents with a 4 year old with a brain tumour on the verge of dying.
Get things in perspective. I’m not invalidating how I feel about my experiences but people go through far far far worse.
So I’m running my business from home, emails and texts, the odd call to staff, accountant, suppliers and clients. Paying bills too. Keeping it all going. Just don’t feel like designing, and I have 2 to do. I feel anxious about that and guilty I’m not doing it! It’s pouring and sleeting outside and 2 degrees. Adding to the picture for you!
So maybe it’s not time for reframing right now, and just simply accepting the way it is, a hard time. And a little self compassion added to the mix.