Since the 1st of January by making healthy choices, and next to no wine or any other alcohol. Still having the very odd treat and meal out though, not completely depriving myself of treats, as I know that leads to a backlash of inner rebellion against healthy eating!
I went to another group meeting last night, a new group for me, called Live Your Legend. Met a bunch of really interesting people and had some nice healthy food and was glad I went. It really cheers me up getting out and mingling. There was some shamanic drumming in the middle that was quite enjoyable. We each had a shaker and a blindfold to put on. I’m not very into shamanism but it was fun to experience something new. The facilitator told us about his journey from being bullied and into anxiety for decades till he took steps to change his life. It feels good to be around people who aren’t afraid to be vulnerable.
So back to now, today. There are a few things getting me down but I’m going to write and achievement list to encourage myself after this little moan. It’s 11.30 and I’m struggling to get motivated to do anything much. Answering a few calls, writing email replies, keeping an eye on finances. Worried about paying this £30k and still get to have my flat. Feeling anxiety about not feeling motivated. I’m feeling anxious and unsettled about an imminent move too. Tennis elbow had flared up again and is a nearly constant pain. It’s minor I know but it’s a little stressful. Even holding a cup of tea or the kettle hurts. A support strap has just arrived though so I’ve got that on and hopefully it helps.
So as I don’t want to focus on that I want to write about what is going well. This is an experiment taking place this last 6 weeks, of changing my situation and watching the results. So this is what I have done to combat the loneliness and depression I was experiencing.
- Next to no drinking , think I’ve had 2 nights of drinking socially in 6 weeks. My mind is clearer, and I’m relieved of the guilt I was experiencing from leaning on it, knowing it was in conflict with my health goals and weight loss goal. I’m also saving a lot of money, £200 a month even.
- I’m doing what I want when I want almost all the time. Cutting myself a bit of slack when I feel like lounging instead of working. I feel like I’m in recovery so judging myself less harshly
- I’m out probably 5 times a week mostly at night at different self development social groups and meeting new people, and experiencing myself in this new social context. I love being around people, hearing their stories and telling mine.
- I got a therapist to delve with me and it’s someone I can confide in too. She encourages me and is an adsvocate for my wellbeing. I lobe this support
- Also got a life coach, she is helping me too a lot and I really like her with affirmations, finding solutions, making me accountable for decisions I make
- Enjoying family dinners and visiting my mum.
- Going to see the guys every day and having a nice chat, while making sure projects are on track
How can I increase my benefit to others as well as increase my own sense of meaning and purpose. Then I just had an idea. I got the little boxes out from under the bed, and started making up packs for the homeless, starting off with some Swiss hand cream, a little money, and bought some stuff on eBay to put in them, thermL socks and gloves, hand warmers lip salve, vitamins and a couple more things. I put a little note in to each one that says you are valued and loved. Feeling energised now and motivated to get on with my work tasks.
Learning to Rest with it All 