Feeling Lost

It seems like everything is crumbling around me. I feel fear. Got a client suing me and it’s been a bad year financially. I’m feeling quite lost, and don’t have anyone wise to talk to about it. This is the other side of the beautiful freedom of being self employed, the consequences of risk taking gone wrong. It’s all up to me, and yet my confidence is low, after seeing how I’ve messed a few things up this year. Several projects made a loss. My optimism and hope have taken a knock. I’ve been scared to take steps forward as I’ve made several mistakes this year. Barely holding it all together. I need to rally myself. I’m going away for the weekend to a country cottage on the coast with a real fire. I know I can run away, but think a change of scenery might be refreshing.

Seeing the self sabotage in action this year has led to a considerable amount of self doubt. In this very hour I am preparing a costing for a client and I am scared. Scared I am doing it again. My confidence has been daunted as I have witnessed how powerful the attraction to difficulty and stress and unhappiness is. How I have wrecked the financial success I was experiencing. I am working hard on all of this stuff, examining every nook of my being and my belief system.


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