To break the hold of the feeling of ‘concern’ that had taken hold yesterday, I went to the park and submerged myself in nature. Watching the newts enjoying the sunbeams below the water took me out of my head and back into the present and the world of my senses. Getting outdoors broke the hold that my worries had on my mind.
I’ve noticed that becoming caught up in the mind starts with a thought which was allowed in through my front door (which remains open to all thoughts). But instead of showing the thought gently through to the open back door, I invited it to tea and entertained its concerns.
Some thoughts are quite sticky, and want to convince me that there is something ‘wrong’ going on that needs to be analysed, prepared for or ‘solved’. It’s a bit of an art this allowing thoughts in and letting them go without inviting them to chat. The stickiness in one of the issues yesterday for me was not wanting to offend someone. (This is what I was being shown. One cannot have the avoidance of offending somebody as your aim and try to follow the Tao, as it requires you to manipulate circumstances and people to not be offended. It also can lead to dishonesty too).
So once I had let the thought in there was an emotion of concern as a result. This feeling then led to trying to think out a solution, and analyse a bit. This feeling of concern also invited other similar concern infused thoughts to enter which were also allowed to stay for a chat. The feeling of concern itself seemed to be a magnet for these other concerned thoughts. So I went into thoughts about how to say no to neighbours without hurting their feelings and imagining them being offended upset me.
This is a stark contrast to how things are worked out when I am grounded in open spacious awareness, a state in which I am relatively empty of desires or aversions. When I am in touch with my identity as the ocean and I observe the thoughts as little waves coming and going. In this state, situations arise and are dealt with as they arise in the present, not rehearsed for in advance. And the perfect words come forth and it is all completely taken care of in the best possible way for everyone, like magic!
In the concerned state, the mind wants to plan in advance how it will deal with perceived difficult situations. It makes fear which leads to an attempt to manipulate situations and force an outcome. It has at its basis a lust for a certain result.
In the open spacious state, there is no lust of result. There is pure trust that everything is exactly as it should be, even if someone were to be offended in this particular example I am giving. Who am I to decide that it would be best for another not to be offended by my actions anyway, being offended might be a valuable lesson for them.
So with curiosity and in the present I can deal with each situation as it arises. I have been learning about this way of being for some time. I have found that the more I trust, the easier it becomes. I don’t have to fret over situations in advance. Don’t have to control them. Don’t have to worry what others think of me.