‘May I be well
May I be happy
May I be at ease
May I be safe’
I said this over and over as I swam up and down this morning, out loud quietly too. I changed the words a bit as I went to experiment a little to see how I responded to varying levels of wishing myself wellbeing. Learning to embrace that it is perfectly acceptable to wish myself safety and happiness.
I noticed the resistance too and the objections appearing. My mind wanted to debate about it a little. To question the validity of wishing these things for myself, whether it was a good idea to wish myself happy for example, when so much is learned from misery at times. And what I I weren’t happy, am I entering a state of non-acceptance by wishing myself happiness if I am not feeling it?!
I noticed all these responses, both positive and negative, and returned to the phrases calmly. It is not about philosophy here, it is simply about the feeling behind the words, wishing myself well. Sending kind intentions towards myself, the way I would towards my dog.
I still notice some anxiety arising when I wish anything that resembles a lack of suffering for myself. What right have I to ask for anything, my mind demands to know. As each day passes in mostly ease and stability, I grow in confidence that I can relax and be happy. The growing awareness that happy is always here if I wish to tune my radio dial to that station. I observe that pretty much all of the suffering that is experienced is created by me.
Yesterday was a tough day and I had some minor adversity to deal with. Looking back now I see that the suffering experienced was entirely a result of me resisting what was happening, and then objecting, complaining, wanting it to be otherwise. The Inland Revenue were demanding money I knew I did not owe. I was on the phone several times for over an hour, and they eventually conceded I did not owe them anything. I could have done all of that with the same result and without whipping up stress for myself. It is a choice. I chose to get stressed about it. ‘This should NOT be happening!’ ‘This is so unfair!’. I am smiling at the little drama I created.
May we be well. May we be happy. May we be at ease. May we be safe.
The picture is from a few days ago in the Atlas Mountains in Morocco, where I travelled by mule 5 miles up a narrow mountain pass! What a perfect few days it was. There was very little planning, and I was with a friend who also isn’t a planner type. This allowed us the spontaneity to follow the feeling of the moment, and see what the Force had in store for us. And the choreography of the Force is perfect, and we experienced that perfection. Trust in life, be fully present, and you become part of the choreography. The accommodation was stunning, the food incredible, the people we met highly kind and friendly. We were thoroughly looked after in every way, just beautiful.