I was scraping the ice off my windscreen the other morning with a credit card and I was rushing and eager to get back into the car to get going for my morning swim.
I caught myself.
I can choose to be here in this moment for this experience of window scraping. You are having a window scraping experience, no need to resist it or wish it away girl!
I relaxed. Then I started noticing the beautiful reflections of the trees appear on the windscreen as each row of ice was scraped off. I noticed the delectable smell of the fresh morning air and birdsong emerged.
It seems that once we become willing to be present and stop racing to get to the next ‘better’ moment, the quality of our experiences changes. Something magical takes place and it is as if a key has unlocked a secret door to reveal a previously hidden depth that wasn’t available to us when we were wishing this moment away as we rushed off to the next better moment and the next.
Compassion for ourselves is appropriate here. We have been conditioned by a culture that seems to be fixated with ambition, on goal setting and reaching destinations and ‘getting somewhere’ in life. And compassion for those of us who are taking steps to break the trance. It takes courage to step out of the dominant social paradigm and try something new.
I am stopping many many times throughout the day and breaking the trance state of rushing around all the time and living in my thoughts. I do it over and over and over in every situation I am in. I pause and enter the ocean of silent awareness that exists all the time as the backdrop of my life, presence. It can be accessed easily in the space between thoughts which a deep breath helps to facilitate.
When I take a conscious breath I am immediately taken out of the mental state and back into the physical body which lives in the present. It is okay to relaxxxxxxx. I remember to be gentle of course, no reprimanding myself for rushing! Just a little curious amusement as I observe with compassion.
I had a fantastic meal in a restaurant with a dear friend last night. We were talking deep about exactly this topic. It was a really intimate sharing and I got excited by it. I found myself speeding up again with the thrill of it, eager to share my experience. I noticed at several points in the conversation that I was waiting for him to stop speaking so that I could express myself. I even interrupted the end of his sentences several times. I stopped, breathed, relaxed into listening. This increased my ability to be with him and hear what he was saying. I also found that what came out of my mouth was more potent and spontaneously truthful when I was tuned back into presence and being present.
I am so enjoying this new world which is opening up. As I learn to support myself through self compassion and self soothing life itself seems to become more supportive. And as I trust life more to support me, the more trustworthy it becomes! As I love myself more it becomes easier and easier to choose a lifestyle that is nurturing and healthy. I don’t have to discipline myself to exercise or eat healthily, its a pleasure to look after myself and I just find myself doing it.
I feel gratitude that each day brings such rich opportunities, even in the smallest of experiences.