More than that, ecstasy is a more accurate description, a knowing of the perfection of each and every moment. A way of seeing, a lifting of the veil for a few moments at a time. I go in with my eyes shut then open them and look around in this open awareness and what I see is utter beauty and perfection. It is home. And it burns. I want to cry but it’s past sentiments into pure stillness. Suspension of past and future in the raw real present. A lightness that is there absolutely all the time, invited or uninvited, it doesn’t change or leave. It’s nature is joy, innocent, unknowing and knowing everything that needs to be known, it’s like a hidden world that was there all along.
Several of these moments came today. The rest of the day was a flirtation with misery, fear and angst. Following worry thoughts with their incessant plans to mitigate future disaster, other thoughts of hurts past and gone but made real by holding them suspended in thoughts into the present.
I tentatively rediscover this joy and peace, feeling trepidation, unsure, it’s so unfamiliar and yet could not be more natural.